DADDY'S HOME WORKOUT

Dads! No time to go to the gym after work? No need! Just drive home after a long day for the "Daddy's Home!" workout.

Here's how it works:
Warm up - With briefcase in one hand and a gallon of milk in the other, exit garage and step over obstacle course in backyard towrd back door.

Repititions:
Abs - Deflect jet-propelled boy as you walk in door. Breathe! Deflect the next child. Breathe! Then the next.

Boy-lift:
Catch three-year-old boy. Pick him up over head. Repeat five times.

Put down brief case. Repeat boy-lift.

Advanced Workout
Agree to do the same with five-year-old brother. (Warning! House management not responsible for injuries incurred while attempting above exercise with eight-year-old girl.)

Thighs and Calves
Walk through house toward kitchen with one child wrapped around lower leg.

Advanced Workout:
Repeat with two children. Children will automatically regulate your repititions. "Again! Again! Again!"

Brief rest (take out kitchen trash)

Back stretch-bicep builder
Sitting on couch, bend to remove shoes. Allow boy to crawl to your shoulders, then catch him as he leaps off into thin air. Put him on floor again. Again! Again! Feel the burn?

Brief Rest (kiss wife, remove shoes)

Sides
Throw children across room into your bed. Repeat, one child at a time, until bed is completely destroyed and wife is scowling.

Carb up! (help wife serve dinner)

Whole body warm-down
Pull weighted blanket (three children: approx. 110 lbs total) down hallway and into bedroom. Throw each one into bed. Bend low to kiss.

Repeat workout every weekday for 18 years.